There has been a series of videos circulating Facebook by a guy named Brad Holmes. In each of these videos, he is asking his fiance questions and then laughing at her response. The comments on Facebook have been along the lines of “she is so dumb”, and this has not just been from unbelievers. Professing believers have joined Brad in laughing at the woman he is presumably going to marry. Has our entertainment culture taken such a hold on Christians that we will join in belittling women as opposed to honoring them? Here are some thoughts.
Women are to be honored
What this grown boy who can shave is doing is nothing less than publicly mocking the woman he is about to marry. As Christians, we should be known as a people who honor women. We should follow the example of Christ. Christ respected and honored women. He cared for His mother on the cross. He tenderly spoke with the Samaritan woman at the well. He honored the prostitute who washed his feet with tears. Women were the first to discover our Lord was raised from the dead and had the honor of telling others. God cared for Leah, who was unwanted by her husband. God honored Hannah by granting her request for a child. Esther was honored for her faith. Ruth is spoken of in high regard because of her faithfulness. The proverbs 31 woman is a model for womanhood. God cared for Hagar after she was thrown out into the desert by Abraham and Sarah. The prostitute Rahab was honored and part of the lineage of Christ. Divorce was granted in the Old Testament to make provision for women so they could remarry and be protected and provided for. Jesus wept with Martha at the death of her brother. Over and over again, we see women honored in the Bible. God honors women and we should too.
Entertainment at other’s expense
There is a difference between laughing WITH someone and laughing AT someone. In these videos, this young woman is the object of ridicule. This is quite simply entertainment at another’s expense. In the videos, this fool mocks this young woman’s inability to answer riddles. She gets visibly frustrated and all the while, he records and laughs along with others watching. We are called to treat others as we want to be treated. To love our neighbors. Watching, posting, and laughing online while inviting others to do the same is neither loving nor is it treating others as we wish to be treated. It is a wholly un Christ-like attitude, and it wreaks of being influenced by the culture rather than standing for what we read in the Bible.
Marriage is about being FOR your spouse
As I mentioned before, this couple is apparently engaged, and I honestly feel sorry for this woman. Imagine the marriage they will have. Being married means we are united together and are in each other’s corner. We build each other up, we don’t tear each other down. This guy is nothing more than an adult bully and the object of his bullying is the one he professes to love. A complementary view of marriage means that we sacrificially love our wives. We don’t mock or belittle them. We build them up as precious gifts given by God. Much has been written on women not belittling their husbands, and I totally agree with that. It is damaging beyond belief, but it is a two way street. Being a Christian complementarian means building up our spouse, not tearing them down.
Our laughter at things like this is sin
When Christians participate in this kind of belittling, we not only open the door to it in our own marriages, but we are essentially laughing with this guy at his fiance. Think of the emotional damage this has or will do to her. Think of how you would feel if hundreds of thousands of people joined your spouse in laughing at you. Think of how Christ views it when one of his image bearers is unknowingly the object of ridicule and mockery through no fault of her own. Have we sunk so low that instead of standing for the oppressed, we join in oppressing them? God created women with a special role and for a special purpose. We should treat women, all women, with respect and honor them. We should recognize that it is much more than just watching a video and laughing. It is participating in emotional damage of a young woman and encouraging this kind of childish behavior in males. Real men stand up for women. They don’t laugh at and mock them.
This article is by Jon Hawkins. Jon is husband to Carlee, father to Finleigh and the pastor for Preaching at Arbor Drive Community Church in York, Nebraska. He holds an MDiv in Biblical and Theological Studies from SBTS and will begin working on a DMin in Church Revitalization from SBTS in the fall.